Love and Hate with “The Audi of Vespas” (Aprilia Scarabeo 250cc)

Love: The riding position – upright, alert, touring, with a saddle like a throne.

Love: The retro-futuristic style, looks teutonic like a BMW.

Hate: Everything is plastic. Plastic will crack and time is running out.

Love: Every little part is stamped “Made in Italy” - Grimeca, Pirelli, Marzocchi, Paoli, Piaggio, I love you.

Love: The cargo capacity is amazing. It carries everything you need and everything you don't.

Love and Hate: Passengers are on the back and don't need to touch you when you ride this thing. On the Vespa, they better hold on to your love handles. On the Aprilia, no love handles are required. Guests can forego the Vespa date night spooning that I hypothetically enjoy. The footpegs are nicer on the Aprilia.

Hate: Why can't I find a large windshield for this thing any place other than Eastern European Ebay? What happens when I actually need parts?

Love: AF1 Racing sold me a new left mirror for like $15. Apparently the other Scarabeo 250cc owner in the USA didn't break his yet.

Love: Cruising around the neighborhood using only 1/8 of the throttle and going as fast as I'd like.

Love: Riding to Rough Trade records and carrying 12” vinyls back in the topcase.

Hate: The headset is made of cheap plastic and rattles like a baby toy, which makes me think I am riding a toy, and makes me long for regular motorcycle handlebars.

Hate: The tiny windshield directs all the windforce right at my face. It is infinitely annoying and tiresome. I finally took it off completely.

Love: The Aprilia is definitively 100% an Italian scooter. At a recent scooter rally, a group of hardcore Lambretta riders quietly and slowly acknowledged the Aprilia is amazing.

Hate: Why is the temperature gauge always all the way turned up? It's not fahrenheit, it's not celsius, it's not even kelvin. It makes no sense. The fan comes on intermittently. I miss the simplicity of the aircooled Vespa engine. It makes me long for a Vespa 946.

Love: The low center of gravity. The floorboards are flat and low. My legs never complain about the shape of the Aprilia.

Hate: Where is the carburetor? Where is the battery? For all I've seen, the middle of this scooter has a molten lava core, same as planet earth. Yes, you need to take off a plastic panel and most of a footrest to just check the oil, which involves such a small sump and dipstick that you won't be sure what to do with any information you gather from it.

Love: Own an Aprilia, and you're in the top 1% of unusual vehicles in America.

Welcome to the mountaintop!